The Infamous DNA Story

A very intersting and hillarious point of view by Cikgu Kata Tak Nak
Saturday, 26 July 2008

Please your honour, a little bit only, please, please.

Prosecutor: Your honour, we are unable to get fresh samples to ascertain the DNA of the accused so we are applying for the court to order the accused to provide us with samples of his blood, semen and pubic hair.

Judge: Why don't you just swab the inside of his mouth? Why do you need blood, semen and pubic hairs for?

Prosecutor: Er, er, I don't know about that, the IGP and the AG asked me to ask for it and they said that your honour would surely approve?

Judge: Oh, they said that did they? Who do they think I am? That Hacks judge? Why are they ordering you? Aren't they supposed to be disqualified from handling this case? Why do you need the DNA profile for? You still have samples from 1998 don't you?

Prosecutor: If your honour had read the papers, even the Prime Minister had asked the accused to provide the samples. He said that the old samples are spoilt.

Judge: Is the PM the IO? Is he the prosecuting officer. What powers does he has to demand for it? Is he a party to anything here?

Prosecutor: Why your honour, he is the Prime Minister.

Judge: So? Has he been sodomised too? And what do you mean the old samples are spoilt? Young man, do you know anything about DNA? Do you still have the old samples?

Prosecutor: We had some old samples but not enough. Some of it were taken to smear the victim's uhm, er, ..... I mean some of it got lost in transit while taken to the lab.

Judge: I like the first part better.

Prosecutor: What first part?

Judge: The smearing part?

Prosecutor: Oh, that part. I got my scripts wrong. The smear was supposed to be, they are trying to smear the name of the TPM.

Judge: And what have that got to do with the accused DNA?

Prosecutor: Nothing your honour.

Judge: So why is it in your script?

Prosecutor: I mean, it's not in my written script your honour, it is in my head for future use but somehow I got confused.

Judge: Hmm, interesting. What about the data base from the old case. I am sure you have them stored somewhere safely don't you?

Prosecutor: We did ask the police for the data 3 weeks ago but last week they informed us that a hacker had hacked into the police system and destroyed them.

Judge: Hmm, I have not read anything about it before. Do you have a police report about this new development?

Prosecutor: Yes Your Honour, here.

Judge: It was dated yesterday. The police only made the report yesterday?

Prosecutor: Huh! What? Let me see it. Er, er, ...... it could be a typo your honour.

Judge: Aren't dates supposed to be very important in any reports?

Prosecutor: Yes Your Honour, they are.

Judge: Then why the mistakes? What are you trying to do? Do you really have a case against the accused?

Prosecutor: Your Honour, I am not feeling very well, could your give me an adjournment, please?

Judge: You want to continue in the afternoon?

Prosecutor: No, an indefinte adjournment please. I think I am going to be sick for a very long time.

Judge: Yes, I do think so myself. One month to settle all this mess and come back prepared.

Prosecutor: Oh, Your Honour, what about the samples?

Judge: Nope, prove why I must order for it to be given.

Prosecutor: Please your honour, a little bit only, please, please.

Posted by Kata Tak Nak at Saturday, July 26, 2008